The Letters that Woke Me Up

About a year ago I got a very interesting letter at my job's mailbox. It had my name and position and no return address. I found it peculiar and went on to read it. Inside I found a letter from a fan...yes a fan. First fan that I know of. In the letter they let me know that they enjoyed my point of view and prospective, they had read my blog and had noticed I stopped writing and encouraged me start again. They assured me that they weren't a stoker but just a fan. I was initially freaked out, they wanted to keep it anonymous and assured me that they had met me about twice before and had found all my information on the oh so reveling Facebook. So I cleaned my profile of any reveling information such as the place I worked and hometown, sharpened my security settings and got even pickier about the people I accepted as "friends". I also tried to narrow down who this person could be to very little results.

After the initial freak out I read the letter again and took it for its face value: a fan letter. Before the letter, I had contemplated writing again but just didn't have enough motivation. I had even started to write a couple of post but never got around finishing them and figured no one was missing them either. But I was wrong, I had at least one person who was reading, and I decided to finish writing a post I had started writing about a year before. I posted the article and a comment on facebook and got a second letter thanking me for the post and assuring me that they were just a fan and that that was going to be their last letter to me.

Never in a million years would I have imagined to get such a letter. In my world I was just writing to write and expressing myself to...well...myself. I had a thought and felt like unleashing it. I am very self-conscientious about my technical writing skills. I make grammar mistakes often and write one word when I really mean another one. I can read something five times and it sound perfectly fine to me until I give it to someone to read it and they find a whole can of worms of mistakes. Its because of these reasons I don't post as often. My fear of the grammar police stops me from posting my thoughts. I even got a comment on one of my post saying that I had grammar mistake in my piece about writing lol how ironic.

I had, in part, forgotten about the letters when, while organizing my nightstand the other day, I found them. I read them and again I felt that same encouragement to share my ideas and thoughts, even if I get flagged or ticketed by grammar police. The first blog I posted after the letter was about making our words and thoughts have more value and practicing what I call silent wisdom. I am very particular about sharing my opinion, I always say my thoughts are mine and not everybody should have the privilege of knowing them. I don't say this because I think my thoughts are the best and have a high price to them or anything along those lines, I say it because I enjoy my privacy and we, as a culture, have indulged in the act of over sharing for way too long. Either way this was a thought that really let me know that sharing SOME of my ideas and thoughts could be for the betterment of the greater good.

The "fan" also told me that it was an infrequent church goer however the letter expressed to me characteristic of someone from the bible, Barnabas. Never heard of him, don't sweat it, few notice him. Barnabas is only mentioned a few times in the New Testament but he is believed to have been the first to welcome Paul after his conversion as well as mentoring him for 10 years.  He is known as the Son of Encouragement for giving words and support to members of the early church such as Paul and Mark. Although little is known of him, we can see his character and teachings through Paul.

Few people knew of your letters but many people read my blog. I want to thank you for waking me up and adding value to my thoughts by writing that letter to me. I urge you to keep encouraging people around you by seeing their potential and asking them to share it with the word. And to the rest of my readers out there I ask that you do the same to others, you never know what the world might be missing.


Before I end I wish to share this video with you all in hopes that you would do the same as she does

BY ASSOCIATION

I am the third of four children in my house, I am also the last girl before the only boy, and therefor I am the baby. I am one of those people who willingly admits she has a middle child complex. Now in my case I didn't feel neglected by my family just felt, at times, like the odd one out. A few years ago all four of us joked about what color sheep we were in the house, Candy the rebel "black sheep", Juanlly the grey one, Wilmy the white good one and then there was me...I...well...I was the neon green sheep, that was our conclusion at least. Growing up I was always the quiet one, stayed in the back and tried not to make too much noise. It also didn't help that all my siblings are musically incline in one way or another, except me...well actually I play a mean tambourine ;).

Since I was the shyest from the 4 I was know by association: meaning I was known as so and so's sister or so and so's friend or daughter and never by just plain Yicaury. Some people wouldn't even learn my name, just my association. At first it made sense in my head, I was shy and people knew my other siblings or friend more than me, and I went along with it. As I grew older this started to bother me and my middle child complex started manifesting itself  and I soon grew to despise association. Now let me make this straight, I understand if we just met and I get introduce as so and so's blank but if we keep getting together and keep relating to each other and you still call me so and so's blank thats when my eye begins to twitch. I feel as if knowing who I am has no meaning or it isn't even important to you. It also feels like I am some sort of bridge to get closer to them and therefor you have no interest in getting to know me -_-* I went through this stage of association for a long time and it just felt like I had no identity or as if the only good thing about me was that I was so and so's blank.

So people with a middle child complex express it in many different ways: some act out to get attention, others disappear and just go with the flow,  I express it by being creative. Now I want you to understand that this was not something I decided one day, I didn't sit down and put my thinking cap on and decided "I'M GOING TO BE CREATIVE!". No, no, no, nooooo, it just sorta happened. My need to NOT be one in the crowd produced creativity in me. Its also known that younger siblings tend to me more creative than the older ones. My desire to be known as Yicaury created an infinite pool of ideas and behaviors that have become part of me. This has become so natural to me and has defined how I am NOW perceived, as an individual and an original. The interesting thing is that I have been called these things by complete strangers that I have met once or twice, walking in the streets, in conferences, in the mall and just in everyday situations. 

I wrote this post for a couple of reasons but one being a voice for the shy unspoken people known solely by association. Take time to know this hidden treasures and encourage them to find and built on their own identity. Its frustrating to be in the shadows knowing you have your own voice but nobody wants to listen to it. 

 I think the name of my blog has a lot to show for how far I've come from my association days. Yiry(G-ree) adj: is a call to become an adjective, be soooo you that people will start  describing and seeing things and ASSOCIATING it with who you are. Become a total original in your own way, stop breaking copyright laws and be simply you, one day the world will eventually catch up :) I fight against the association game when I see it done to others in hopes that they too can find their identity and become an adjective.

A Place to Belong: Creating Church Community for Our Youth

I always thought that my stability came from growing up in a Christian home and felt that my life style was a reflection of the good morals and Christian values my parents instilled in me. Shockingly, while reading The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell, I came across a study conducted by Judith Harris which said “peer influence and community influence are more important than family influence in determining how children turn out…children are powerfully shaped by their external environments…the streets we walk down, the people we encounter- play a huge role in shaping who we are and how we act.”(pg.167-168). After analyzing how different my life is compared to my childhood friends I had no choice but to agree. When mentoring the next generation we need to create a community within the church that molds their outlook and character.


As humans, we all long to fulfill the vital need to belong to a community. Jesus himself, shortly after his baptism started his public ministry by fostering a community with his twelve disciples. These were his confidants, the ones he trusted to continue his work of spreading the gospel. We need to create that same experience for our youth.


I grew up in an inner city where crime was high and gangs were raging all over the streets. By fifth grade, kids were already talking about sex, and girls were fighting to prove that they were, in fact, still virgins. Gangs and drugs infiltrated even the small charter school I attended. Even in an environment like the one I describe, I managed to surround myself with a great group of level-headed friends with whom I associate during school hours. Sadly, even within this group bad decisions were made.


If the results of the study done by Harris stand true, why didn’t I go down the wrong path even though I grew up in the same community as my friends? Simple: I did not find community in my neighborhood, I found it in my church. Looking back, I realized that my participation in several ministries throughout my adolescence contributed significantly to how I would turn out and I also had a mentor encourage me to participate in various afterschool programs. Through the years, strong bonds were built with other Christian youth with whom I was able to spend most of my weekends attending various youth activities within the city, district and region. My community was not made up of my friends from school. My community was church. My desire to belong was met by my Christian peers. We all had the same goal: God. We kept each other accountable.


How can we successfully build a youth-friendly community in our churches? It starts with mentoring and building relationships with them in small group settings. I can’t emphasize its importance enough. Trust and comfort are essential to building community and very often a product of time and investment. Make it a point to spend time with them after service and outside of a traditional church setting. Be patient and start slowly. Once trust has been established, it will grow and lead the youth to naturally open up to you. At that point, all that will be left for you to do is simply listen, and that will be sufficient for them.


Create a safe haven for them to express themselves freely. On a weekly or monthly basis, allow time for them to talk voluntarily about the things that are going on in their lives. By creating this safe space, the youth will realize that they are all dealing with similar situations and will begin to create natural bonds with one another.


Encourage your youth to join other ministries within the church and/or to form new ones. They can create ministries revolving around the arts such as a musical group or a drama ministry. Encourage their creativity and their desire to work. Invite them to join the cleaning ministry or the ushers and to build that sense of responsibility and accountability . The more involved they are the more time they will spend with each other and the more their trust and love for each other will grow. This will help them create a Christ centered culture within their peers which will result in positive peer pressure.


It is essential to build community to help our youth feel like they belong, which is such a vital part of youth development. Once you have built that sense of belonging and have captured their attention then it is your duty and privilege to mold a new generation after God’s heart that will continue Jesus’ work on earth.




Gladwell, Malcolm. The Tipping Point. New York, NY, Back Bay Books/Little, Brown Company, 2001. Print